Saturday, November 20, 2010

Communists and Kurt Warner

My parents are devout Dancing With the Stars fans. The are also big Cardinals fans, so they were doubly excited when Kurt Warner was announced as a contestant on this season of DWTS. My father in particular thinks Kurt Warner is a model citizen, and deserves the Mirror Ball Trophy for his character and quarterbacking skills alone.

Len Goodman disagreed. In the first week, he panned Kurt, giving him a 5 (the other two gave him 7s and noted his "potential") and saying that he didn't like him this week, and didn't expect to like him next week either. Here's an approximation of my dad's reaction:

"Bullshit! Bullshit! That is KURT WARNER! You do not disrespect KURT WARNER! He's an American great! I refuse to watch this show! Horse shit! You are a COMMUNIST if you don't like Kurt Warner. I can't watch this crap! This is disgusting!"

For remainder of the week, Dad kept calling Len a communist and saying how he couldn't stomach the show. We watched it again the next week. Thankfully, Len had more positive things to say about Kurt, sparing me another round of McCarthyism. For a week.

The peace was short-lived, however. After one particularly contentious round of judging, Kurt received 6s for having "big hands" "bent" rather than "flexed" knees, despite a rather clean performance. Bristol Palin received straight 7s and glowing praise for forgetting almost all of her steps, but remembering to smile. And unfair assessment to be sure, but Dad couldn't handle the politics.

"This is a set-up! A conspiracy! I mean, she's graceful, but that is KURT WARNER! She was not better than KURT WARNER! (itn's true...she wasn't) Len's a communist! This show has no credibilty! I refuse to watch it! Anyone who doesn't like KURT WARNER is a COMMUNIST!"

We watched it again the following week. And so it went until Kurt was finally eliminated. To this day, my dad still randomly mutters about communists and Kurt Warner.

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